Corporate Life Reloaded

So that week the world was celebrating World Environment Week and suddenly out-of-nowhere there were so many environmentalist/NGOs talking about waste management, e-waste, going green so on and so forth. May be not “out-of-nowhere”, they were there already but in that particular week, it was as if somebody had drawn focus lights on them i.e. the environmentalist and the social activists/NGOs! There were initiatives under CSR drawing attention of crowd, existing in Corporate world, towards e-waste produced from electronic items, which again made my mind take a leap to a whole new world!

A world where there are no computers!! I mean think about it, hypothetically, one day a bill is passed by government banning the use of computers because of the e-waste that it produces!!! (I know, I know… It is not even close to what bills are getting passed in parliament and what agenda our new government has… But still who has the guts to make imagination go through a reality check!!) So here I am in a world where government has banned use of computers!! And I tell you it looks soooo exciting and awesome!!!

Since there are no computers in corporate world, it means no e-mails!! (yippeeee!) Can you imagine this? No need to archive your mails, no need to check who needs to be in Cc, no need to keep checking emails again and again!! As it is I feel the corporate world waste too much and stresses too much on email communications. As if your life and death depends upon an approval mail. Things communicated over phone needs to be mentioned again in mail so that it is there in “black and white” Somehow I feel, emails are one of the reasons because of which people have started losing faith on keeping words. Things promised verbally are not taken into account as long as it is not mentioned in “black and white”. People call it “professionalism”, I call it “losing faith”.

Anyways, so where was I, yes… So if there are no emails, the communication means will be back to square one! Oh yes, pigeons will be back in demand!!

Employees will write messages on leaves (Well, if govt would have passed "no computer" bill, I am sure they would have already passed “no paper” bill) and they would send it via pigeons (can you hear the song “Kabootar ja ja ja” in background? Oh yes, I can). There will be a risk that you might not get any replies and worse you might not get even get your pigeon back. The risk is even high when your letter is set to piss off the receiver. :p

As an alternative to pigeons, you can also have puppies; Cute little puppies. Only one extra thing you will require is receiver’s socks! Yes, you guessed it! We will make those cute little puppies smell the receiver’s socks so they would know whom to give the letter! (Now, I can imagine Tuffy from Hum Aapke hai Kaun running towards the right receiver!)

It will be such an exciting change! And in case you are wondering how these pigeons/ puppies will travel to different towns then worry not my Friend as for that we have rivers and sea! We will have message in bottles with our company name written on the bottle! Our people from the other end of the shore will have a dedicated team to fish out those bottles! What a great way to send messages! Can you imagine the level of faith that will rise among people as they will inculcate faith in these communication means!

We will have genuine calls with our client. We will have concrete tangible solutions rather than software. We will have mechanical energy in place. We would be selling mechanical solutions rather than IT solutions. The client would travel or we might send them video cassettes of the machines running. Wow, this era will see video cassettes back in action! Ohh, this will be like going back in time! May be we would live the era of Flintstones where we would have cars which we would have to lift and run (Well, if govt has passed “no paper”, “no computers” bill, they would have surely passed “no automobiles” bill)

Sounds awesome! Isn’t it?

I told you imagination doesn't have any horizon! It could build a world on its own without an iota of effort! J