Silent Wishes

During your lifetime you meet millions of people: Some become your friends, some become acquaintance, some without any reason hate you, some without any reason envy you, some say cruel words to you without any good reason, some being stranger help you, some you see everyday but are still stranger to you, some are your well-wishers, some are your relatives, some are your colleagues and then there are some people who come into your life for a while and touch your life in such a way that before you turn back to thank them, they vanish into thin air. I know there will be a person in everybody’s life who would come for a while and would change your life significantly.

I was living my life as it came to me. My aim of life was to be invisible, to get lost in the crowd. And then he came and made me stand in the limelight. I had not asked for it but he made me do it. First, I trembled to face the limelight but then he came and stood beside me which gave me a strange kind of confidence. I was able to survive through the limelight and then realized who I am. I was not born to get lost in crowd. I could not follow the crowd. It was he who made me realize that. He was the one who made me believe into myself and made me realize that I could do anything when I come down to doing it. He was a facilitator. A speaker for a 4 days seminar conducted especially for students who had appeared their SSC. Before going to the seminar, I had decided myself to grab a seat in the last row and to not answer or raise any questions during the seminar. But when I reached there I saw only 14 students. I had no opportunity to hide myself. There was no escape. He grabbed every opportunity to make me stand and speak. He asked me questions to know what I think about the various issues related to personality, perception, feelings, and experiences. Those 4 days changed me. I never thought I could speak in front of live audience. I never thought I could express myself. He changed me. He made me realize about my own capabilities. He introduced me to my strengths. I remember, we going to him on the last day for his autograph and thanking him for all the knowledge he shared with us. While signing in my book, he wrote “You are a beautiful person. Let others know who you real are.” I read those two sentences over and over. Nobody had complimented me so generously before. I was delighted. When I went back home, I was new me.

Years later, that is now, when I look back, I have carried out several presentations in front of live audience. I have been appreciated and acknowledged for my communication skills. And every time someone approaches me and praises me for my skill, I remember him. I don’t know where he is and how he is. I know that my gratitude wasn’t good enough. I wanted to thank him more but I couldn’t. I can’t even picture his face clearly in my mind. Sometimes, I am afraid that we may cross each other somewhere and I wouldn’t even recognize him. I just have a blur image of him in my mind but I couldn’t forget the way he made me feel. He made me feel like I am alive, like my opinion matters, like I am not meant to be invisible, like I am something. I am special.

A couple of days ago, I found the book in which he had signed. I found out that his birthday is on 14^th Oct. I will be mailing him on his old email id. I am not sure if he still accesses his mail but still I am going to mail him and wish him. I am going to thank him for all the efforts he took to make me speak my mind. In my heart, I am hoping that he reads my mail and replies. There would be nothing like to find his mail in my inbox. I wish! :)